beyoncescock:

new years resolutions:

  • get skinny
  • get hot
  • get rich

I really hate when I put food in the microwave and it starts popping and making explosive noises so I check it and it’s freezing cold like why you gotta play me like that

HOW TO COOK THE CORRECT AMOUNT OF PASTA:

sarcastic-sanity:

1. Pour out how much you think you need.

2. Wrong.

chickenuqqet:

"hate’s a strong word"

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castielhasthephoneb0x:

a-study-in-butts:

thetwincores:

asapmona:

rhydonmyhardon:

let us have a moment of silence for those who unknowingly dated and broke up with a future celebrity

my math teacher dated Ryan Gosling in highschool.

my neighbor dated bill nye the science guy

well my godmother dated david tennant when they were 16

my boyfriend dated me

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